he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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