They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
