he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm too high and old for this...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
