the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
