If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
