I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
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