that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
