I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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