He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
