did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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