I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
