So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
How does it feel to date your dad?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
