why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
