I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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