i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
