On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
