Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
