no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize