by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
