It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
