I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
