I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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