I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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