how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
