am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
