There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
