quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
