don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
So squirting runs in the family.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
