I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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