She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
