do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
