on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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