so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
