My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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