We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
