Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
