I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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