grandma shit on top of the toilet
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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