What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
tequila makes me forget i have legs
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
