Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He shit in the fireplace
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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