3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
