He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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