Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
