just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
