I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
