This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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