Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
