help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
