do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Success! We fucked roommates!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
