i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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