How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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