You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
