What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
