But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
